Monday, September 25, 2006

Educating TV Games

Have you planned to buy a birthday gift for your kid? It is troublesome for people to think about it. But we absolutely can solve the problem for you. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Let’s us do the chore for you!

Visit our shop and choose one of the marvellous Educating TV game. Thought playing, your kid will learn more English vocabularies and idioms. Your kid must love it! I dare.

What are you waiting for? Visit our shop with your kid now!

Learning with fun, it’s what we have done!

Adam's corrections. Change words in red. Hints in green.

Have you planned to buy a birthday gift for your kid? It is troublesome for people to think about it. But we absolutely can solve the problem for you. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Let’s us do the chore for you! Visit our shop and choose one of the (change to a personal pronoun) marvellous Educating TV game. Thought (wrong word/ spelling) playing, your kid will learn more English vocabularies (usually single) and idioms. Your kid must love it! I dare(??). What are you waiting for? Visit our shop with your kid now! Learning with fun, it’s what we have done!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep it up ~ Good~

kalai said...

line 4 : Let's do the chore for you!
line 7: Through playing,

Adam said...

Line 4: This makes it sounds better.

Line 7: correct